Entry tags:
Reflection Post
This was my OTP from way back when. I remember 2008 like it was just yesterday, and there were good times and bad times. From my first girlfriend to my best fanfiction, this fandom, Death Note, helped my grow into the person that I am today. I pretty much owe a lot to the blond character, Mello. He finally helped me identify myself.
I am so scared to jump back into the fandom, because some of the fans can be very judgmental, not to mention the people that are like "L IS SO AMAZING, MELLO AND NEAR CAN SHOVE IT." Those people were the reason that I left the fandom in the first place. I enjoyed the series for the first season, but the second season was so much more appealing to me. I liked Mello and Near better than L, and I feel like I was judged for that. Hell, I was judged for almost everything in this fandom. But the L this is where it started being ridiculous.
Another thing I was judged for was my OTP, Matt/Mello, because people had this mentality that "LOL TEENAGERS SHIP MATT/MELLO, WHILE MATURE PEOPLE SHIP LIGHT/L." While I did ship Light/L, a certain ex-girlfriend of mine made me hate, despise, and all around stay away from it. I can't even look at a fanart without cringing. And this particular person that posted this back then was looked at as one of the most awesome people in the whole fandom, and I never told her how I felt about the issue, but it wasn't like she'd care anyway.
Light was my favorite character for a long time, but toward the end of the series, I found myself becoming more and more against Light's ways. I hated to admit it, because at the time, I was a Light roleplayer. I loved my Light account. But then, as the new year was coming around, I figured out that it was time to let go of it. So I did, and that was when I had finished the second season of the series.
My love for the series was strong. I participated in the kink meme, which I'd never done for another fandom... ever. I participated in challenge communities, made icons, wrote fanfic. I did EVERYTHING that there was to do in this fandom. But what set me apart from other fans was the fact that I didn't like L. I never really LOVED him, and I'd always preferred other characters over him. Some people thought of this as strange, but I really didn't care.
I love this fandom. I want to be a part of it , but I can't feel comfortable again. Not yet.
Nothing but love for Death Note. ♥